Two ways of getting what you want

There’s things we all deeply, really want. Goals, visions, desires that – if we could only make them true – would seemingly make our life much, much better. But until that happens, we actively hurt because we’re living in a world that doesn’t match up our ideals. It makes us sad. Mad. Makes us want to give up.

So, what do we humans typically do when we find ourselves wanting something that’s far from what we have?

Here’s a couple of possible reactions:

1. Nothing. Could work if that thing you’re craving ends up being less important for you than you thought. Or, it could be the surest way to bury your emotions so deep that they either make you physically sick or you lash out at anything and anyone around you just to release the pressure that’s been built up.
2. Look for a way out of your current situation. Let’s take some examples. You’re looking at the relationship you’re in and you’re coming up with an impressive list of what doesn’t work. After a series of processes where you convince yourself the grass is greener on the other side, you end up deciding you’re better off breaking the bond and start looking for that Perfect someone. A perfect someone, a perfect setup that will make all your current problems obsolete. A very similar thing happens when you have a very clear image of the kind of company/job you want, you look at your current professional status and end up deciding you need to get out. Again, sometimes this kind of giving up and switching up works. Other times, it doesn’t – either because that perfect scenario turns up being non-existent, or you soon realize you’re back to the same old familiar conundrums, despite the change of scenery.
3. The third option is to take the hero’s journey to transform what you have into what you want. You start putting in more effort into your current relationship, or into your current job. You change how you think and you start acting as if you could actually be successful at creating what you desire.

From where I stand at this point in my life, I am becoming increasingly interested in this third option, for multiple reasons. It’s partly because I have quite some experience with the first two strategies and realized they’re not that great, and partly because I absolutely adore the process of being actively involved in changing myself and reshaping the contexts I am in. There’s lessons that you learn in this process, lessons that are incredibly valuable and cannot be experienced another way.

So, yes, there’s two ways of getting what you want. Getting somewhere where the situation is already as you ideally want it to be, or taking ownership, and taking the chance to build it yourself. And I think the world needs a lot more people who are crazy enough to want to be creators and builders.