Here’s what I noticed about people & life (aka my coaching philosophy):
This is just one of the reason why we need consultants. We're really good at noticing things in others, but we miss out on the most essential things when it comes to understanding ourselves. We've learned how to build rocket ships, incredible software, we've learned to perform brain surgeries, but we still struggle to say no to others.
How did we get to be self-aware? What's my purpose? Am I good enough? Should I take a chance and follow my dream? Can I be loved and appreciated for who I am? Is life about being authentic or about being more strategic in social games? What's the right balance between enjoying life and taking things easier versus making sure I use up my potential? Sounds familiar?
Regardless of how determined or self-aware we are, we will always find a way to kick ourselves in the butt. Our need for safety and comfort will manage to stomp our growth in a number of very creative ways. And let's not forget our Inner Judge - he wins all the awards in the "World's Scariest Imaginary Monster" category.
We need friendship, affection and support more than we care to admit. For every dream we have, there's someone who dreams about the same things. For every struggle we have, there's someone either going through the same, or has overcome it and is willing to help. You're not alone. You're even not that weird - or, at least, there's a whole bunch of people just as weird as you.
There’s so much information and wisdom available on how our mind works, what it takes to create meaningful lives, how we learn, how we react in front of failure, how to build grit and resilience and how to stay motivated, etc.... Learning all of this and practicing it is how you become able to build sustainable happiness and achievement.
In a world where there is this expectation to continuously add something to your set of skills so that you can achieve what you want, the sessions with Alexandra helped me shift my perspective and focus on that specific thing I need to give up, so that I can get to where I want.
Alexandra is a warm, pleasant and friendly presence. Being with her helps you understand that people would be so much happier if they took the time to listen to each other.
The most important thing for me is that I can be myself around her and feel safe to explore the darkest areas of my mind. Thank you!
You're capable of imagining things that don't yet exist. Your brain generates some amazing processes: compassion, creativity, intuition, solving problems, learning and adapting. You've been through some really difficult stuff, but you've pulled through. You've been let down by people, but you understand the value of giving a second chance. At the same time, you set a goal for yourself but then act in a way that guarantees you not achieving that goal. You want to get closer to people, but you feel so insecure that you end up looking arrogant and pushing people away. You still don't know what to do with your hands when you walk.
You've got (at least) one impossible goal to achieve. You have a strong energy that is impossible to ignore and sometimes hard to manage. You get excited really fast, you go "all in" at the beginning of a project and feel like a champ! It's hard to keep your mojo long-term, but you begin to realize you need to.
...but you wanna change that up. It is easy for you to get excited and adopt the “I can do it” mindset, but the minute someone spots the slightest mistake in your work, it physically hurts. Sometimes you feel super vulnerable and completely devoid of power. You understand the value of resilience and grit and are committed to developing these resources.
You've got a track-record of initiatives, projects and high hopes that have been abandoned along the way. You're starting to notice your usual strategies of giving up, and the amount of energy lost in ideas that have never been implemented. Frankly, you've got enough of this and you want to change your mindset and behavior.
... feeling happy all the time feels like a hoax. Okay, you admit, you might tend to focus on the negative. You've definitely got more training in noticing what goes wrong than what goes right. It wouldn’t hurt if you were a bit more grateful and had a bit more fun, but running around with a smile all the time seems suspicious.
Coaching with Alexandra is like taking a cool shower after a long, tiring and extremely hot day: it makes you feel fresh and able to look at life from a different, more balanced perspective.